If you’ve found yourself reading this blog, my guess is that you’re going through a bit of a tough time in your life, and you’ve asked yourself what you can do to make you better. Or maybe you’re just trying to find out how to make yourself a better human! Either way, I’m SO happy that you’ve decided that you want to do some personal development and take some time to work on you.
We all go through life and experience unique events, and depending on the situation, how we handle these unique events totally changes what we think of ourselves and others. In some situations you may feel you handled something perfectly well; however in others you may be replaying it over and over again in your head, and wonder why you behaved that way.
However, this is life! If we all knew what was going to happen before it did, nothing would be unique, surprising, or shocking; and there would be no need for personal development. We could all potentially be experts in life; and you certainly wouldn’t be here, reading my blog (and I would be sad because of it!).
All personal development must begin somewhere, and it’s not always easy to work on you to be your BEST self. I mean it’s human nature to make mistakes right? And if you’ve been reading my blogs lately you may have looked up my latest one on self-esteem. If you haven’t, take a look here.
For those you want to save some time; I asked you to write down what self-esteem means to you (and if you haven’t, get writing!). For me personally, self-esteem means self love.
Now you may be asking me “Okay but what do you mean by self love?”. Well my friends, that’s the beauty of it! If you’re working on your self you get to create your own definition of what things mean to YOU. Personally, I do not want to work towards some other persons definition of self-esteem, because that wouldn’t be ME; that would be someone else’s version of me.
If I’m going to be the best version of me, I will set my own definitions and work towards that. So I personally believe this starting point of personal development is very important.
Step 1: Define what you want to work on
Now it can be easy to pinpoint things you want to work on; and if you’re like me, you probably think there’s a billion and one things you could do for personal development. However, picking one thing is very important. Remember, working on you takes time, and you have your whole life to do it too! If you try to work on too many things, you’ll feel overwhelmed and probably put-out that nothing is changing. SO be kind to yourself and pick on thing at a time. Things take time, love yourself ALWAYS.
As I mentioned in my previous blog “What is self-esteem?”, something I’d like to work on is self love. I actually think this is something everyone needs to work on daily. Imagine if we all loved and took care of ourselves, it would be much easier to love each other.
However, I don’t mean the type of self love where you are self-centered or self absorbed; like you are the most talented or amazing or best-looking human out there. I mean the type of self-love where you take time to recognize what your needs are in any situation.
So pick ONE thing you want to work on, and make sure it’s just for YOU. If you’re working on something for someone else, this wont be working on YOU, it will be working on some else’s definition of you. DO YOU!
Step 2: Decide how you will tackle it
Once you’ve picked that one thing you want to work on, think of how you can reach this goal.
I think we often have too many tasks to juggle in our lives, with too much going on. This causes us to feel stressed out and exhausted, and in this situation (in my opinion), self-love here would look like taking a few hours or even a day to enjoy something you LOVE doing. Whether that’s talking on the phone with a close friend, going for a walk in the woods, getting back into artwork that you used to enjoy so much, or even just taking a nap. DO IT. Take that time for yourself. YOU deserve it. I promise you, this is like re-setting your internal self. You will feel more relaxed, and more like yourself.
Step 3: Stick to it
Now sticking to your plan can be tricky; but think of those situations that caused you to think of what you wanted to work in in the first place. Remember those situations, and know that when they happen in the future is when you need to take action!
If you feel like you have too much on your plate between home and work and friends; take ACTION. Think to yourself “What do I need to do to help myself?”, because if you burn out, what good are you to others? Exhaustion and stress often causes people to be moody and impatient, and ultimately, not ourselves.
To stick to your plan, write out situations where you are vulnerable and write a solution.
Ex. If I notice I’m feeling particularly snippy when talking to someone, which is not normal for me, I know I need to nap. If I can’t take a nap, I will explain by saying “Sorry, I’m super tired today and not myself!” This way, the person doesn’t feel hurt by my moodiness towards them, and I feel more relaxed to be myself.
Writing down a plan clears up thoughts in your head and allows you to have a higher success rate. And if you forget, you can always look back on it!
Don’t aim for perfection
We don’t all need to be perfect in every situation; it will happen where you forget to stick to your plan because things just happen. That is okay, people will understand if you explain; and you’ll need to forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect, because no one is! Like I mentioned above; I might be moody towards someone because I’m exhausted and don’t have the chance to take a nap; but instead of keeping this information to myself I explained to the person why I’m not being myself. Often, once people understand something it’s much easier for them to get over it.
But hey, maybe you feel like in your life you explain too much to people; so something you could work on is just doing something without needing to explain! Like I said, it’s all about you.
A note on personal development
In the end you will always have something to work on; but don’t let this discourage you. The biggest struggle is just understanding yourself: what your TRUE self is, and what you are like under stressful situations. This will help you succeed in being your truer self.
Take that time to yourself to work on you. LOVE YOU my friends. You are the most important person in your life, so do your homework on personal development and don’t be scared to make mistakes.